How am I going to survive???

Screw daylight savings time. Screw George Vernon Hudson. Do I look like a damned farmer or a resident of the 1800's? What is the point anymore? We have long ago lost our need to be governed by the damned sun. I lost an hour today.... I can't express to you how much it SUCKS to lose an hour of sleep. I already have sleep issues. More than that, I have severe I.K.Y.I.T.M.B.C.I.Y.T.T.M. (I'll kill you in the morning before coffee if you talk to me.) Ok, I made that up, but I swear it feels real. If you can't tell by my sunny disposition today.. I'm cranky as hell about being tired. Hopefully my run this afternoon cranks out endorphins and I can refrain from physical violence.

 On the bright side, it's the hubby's day off and he is pretty much wrangling the little beast for me while I relax a bit. On the other hand, this dog is staring at me so hard as I type this, that it's making me uncomfortable. LOL.

Other than today, I had a pretty nice weekend. I took some of my own advice from my last blog. *wink* Woooweeeeee.

The second best part was that I made some pretty awesome healthy (er) versions of some bar foods that I love. 

Let me just tell you before I go forward. If you haven't had fried dill pickle chips, you my friend are missing out on a beautiful southern gastronomical miracle! Fried pickle chips are soooooooo good; but... they're FRIED! No bueno! So we can't have it right? WRONG! You can bake up some low calorie pickles into a delicious crisp. As a matter of fact, you can oven fry just about any damned thing!. (NEXT BLOG IDEA!) I don't care who you are, fried foods are DELICIOUS! If they weren't so damned good we wouldn't have a obesity problem. My inner fatty really needs some fried foods every once in a while so I trick her with oven fried swaps instead. So back to the (oven) fried pickles!

So simple. 1 jar of sliced hamburger dill pickles, some egg whites, and bread crumbs. Place on parchment paper and place in a preheated 400 degree oven for about 10 minutes. Flip them over and finish off the other side for another 5 minutes or so. The dip is a low fat spicy aioli (use fat free mayo or vegenaise as the base) add garlic powder, salt black pepper, cayenne pepper, and a nice squirt of sriracha sauce. DONE! 

This was the appetizer to my pulled pork sandwiches that I made with a VERY lean pork loin. 

For dessert, 1 ingredient banana ice cream. Yup. ONE ingredient. BANANAS!! Peel and freeze a few bananas and stick them in a food processor. I shit you not, it comes out the consistency of ice cream. 

nom nom nom nom
Don't believe me? Ask this chick!

Long story short, my inner fatty was happy, my outer almost not a fatty was happy, That chick^^ was happy.... What's not to love?? 

Here's to me acclimating to this time change quickly. Have a great Monday!

-Sonya

Cover your eyes, hide your kids, its S E X

At the bottom of my blog, right next to the comments section, I ask people to leave me comments or suggestions. Weirdly enough hardly anybody does, but then my inbox is flooded with private messages. The reoccurring theme seems to be sex! I'm not talking perverted or kinky stuff, just general questions and concerns about sexually related subjects. This got me thinking... First of all, most of the messages are from older (not teenagers) married WOMEN.  They will not publicly comment on the blog requesting that I write about it, but yet they message me these questions. That, right there, seems to be the problem in a nutshell.

SEX. say it out loud. SEX SEX SEX SEX! Did you say it? How did it make you feel? It's something that we all enjoy, yet the word itself makes some people cringe like if it was a dirty back alley deed. If this is you, then step one is to get over that shit. Sex is a beautiful thing given to us for pleasure and procreation. There is nothing dirty about it (unless you want it to be) Rawr! 

Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS! But what I DO have, is a platform that can open discussion and dialogue. Lets talk SEX!

To ask advice about specifics in YOUR sex life is difficult. Everybody is different. Some people have certain things that they like and don't like, some people have fetishes and fantasies. The only sound advice that goes across the board is to talk about it. (Is it getting hot in here?) 

So here was one of the questions that I got from anonymousHL:

-You seem so confident in everything that you do so I figured that you would be a good person to ask this question to. I am 36 and married for 10 years. I have 4 kids. I love my husband but I don't really enjoy sex with him. It seems like it's something I do out of obligation rather than pleasure. I feel like if I tell him this I will hurt his feelings but I really wish there could be something that drives me wild again. I'm not very confident in the way I look anymore after the kids and some of the things that I fantasize about are a little racy. I feel too embarrassed to mention them. Is this something that you can relate to? If yes, I would love for you to write about it. Thanks,

H.L.

First of all, welcome to being married with kids. The place where sex goes to die if it isn't regularly kindled. Heck, just being in a long term relationship that is stuck in a rut feels just the same. The common thread is sexual boredom. I have had so many questions along this theme that I figured I'd just open this can of worms first.

Think back to when you first met. The butterflies in your stomach and the unknown of what was to come. The whole world was yours to discover. Now that land has been long ago settled and weeds are starting to grow. Time for some yard work! (literally, trim that shit people!) LOL, I joke... a little. 

If you are married or in a long standing relationship, the investment has already been made. Not saying what you want because of feeling embarrassed is like putting your money in an account with no interest! Nothing will grow. I tell you this because I have done it. Going from always being a skinny teenager/young adult that got a lot of attention from boys, to being married and overweight with kids was NOT an easy pill to swallow. My ego took a hard blow. Confident my ass! (You see what my husband has to put up with? LOL) The other thing that happens is that women are hormonal and moody creatures that have sexual on/off switches that are hardwired directly to their emotions. (I feel you guys *fist bump*) If we don't feel loved, appreciated, noticed, sexy, and a myriad of other wacko things.... YOU AINT GETTING NONE! But ladies, let me burst your bubble...waiting for a guy to magically have the thought process of a woman is stupid and fruitless. How long are you planning to wait for fulfillment? 

Hard fact: Men are men and will always be men. Emotionally stunted compared to the fairer sex and totally clueless to some of the things we are always harping about. Yet, we love them. *sigh* Refer to step one: Get over that shit. If you want him to be more attentive, tie him to a chair or something and demand that he pays attention. Shock his brain into the now. (a strip tease while you are laying the ground rules wont hurt) You want him to take you to dinner. Don't cook, hand him a phonebook and say: We're going out, make a reservation and put on a damned tie. Oh, and BTW this is happening once a month. If you need a hug, step into his arms. If you need some sex, TELL HIM. I have found that eventually, men can be taught (sorry honey bear) They will fall into step with the things that you need once you make it CLEAR. You will also find out that there are a HUGE amount of things that HE needs. Once that dialogue is open, you will be shocked to find out that he is not the only clueless twit in the house! Trust me. Be prepared to find out some shit about yourself. But its great. It's growth! Hopefully after the long and drawn out conversation, you can have some mind blowing sex and get over it. Don't think that this is a one time fix either. It never ends there. Life is hard and busy and every once in a while you will both have to do it all over again. 

Now go shave those prickly legs, slap on some makeup, and tell that man of yours a thing or two tonight. Have a fabulous weekend!

What did she say???

I know I haven't updated my blog in a while, but I'll give it a shot today. It's not that I didn't have anything to write about, on the contrary, I have so much stuff in my head that I had a hard time translating it into something legible.
I tend to write exactly what I'm thinking and exactly how I'm thinking it with no filter or editing. Last week I tried writing and it came out like insane psycho babble. My thoughts were just all over the place.  People already question my sanity, I didn't think I needed to add fuel the fire. (ha ha) I really didn't think anyone wanted to read that stuff anyway, but then I started getting message after message of people asking when I was going to update my blog again, and the story was the same in each message that I opened. They love that I write about things that they are thinking or have experienced but would never say out loud. Isn't that something? Who would have thought.... huh! You see, my whole life I have been told that my mouth will get me in trouble, and it has. Many many times. But I have finally found a way to use my powers for good! Hooray for that! LOL.
So long story short, I'm back here again. I will use this (again) to get out of my current funk and get going.
Recently I've been having to work way too hard to find motivation and my "happy place." I have to drag myself to workout and drag myself away from a cheeseburger way too often these days. I swear I have some kind of hormonal imbalance or something. One minute I'm feeling fierce and sexy, and the next I want to drink wine straight from the bottle and eat pizza till I pass out. (and this can be all in the same day!) So today I try to turn over yet another new leaf... I really hope I don't run out of leaves to turn. Do all people do this, or is it just me being insane as usual? I really think I do more restarting than moving forward sometimes.
In celebration of mentally starting over I bring you a scrumptious dessert that will not break the rules. Somedays we just need dessert. Better to make this on a bad day than eat the ice cream with a serving spoon. (I have never done that!) LOL.

                      

This little gem tastes like a sinful apple pie. Put a dollop of low fat whipped cream on the top and you'l be in heaven. It takes about 20 minutes from start to finish. 2 apples gave my family of 4 1/2 an appropriate portion each. So it's cheap too!
Start by slicing 2 tart apples (like granny smith)

In a saucepan add 1 tbs butter or substitute, 1 tbs. brown sugar, 1 tsp vanilla extract, 1/4 tsp lemon juice, 1 tsp, cinnimon. add the apples and then and simmer for a few minutes to coat the apples in the sauce. 

In a separate bowl, mix together 1/4 cup of whole wheat flour, 1/2 cup of oats, 1/2 tbs of butter or substitute, 1 tsp of cinnamon, 1 tsp of brown sugar, and a few drizzles of water to make a moist crumble. Place the apples in a baking dish and cover with the crubmble. Bake until golden. You're welcome.


As long as you don't eat the whole thing like a piggy this has waaaaaaayyyyy less calories that a traditional dessert.

I swear I will be back tomorrow with new things and we'll be talking about the taboo. S    E     X.   0_O!!! Can she do that? yup, she can. Hasta mañana!!
Sonya