The table debacle

I can't be the only person with Christmas lights still up on their house right? Well on my street I am! Shit, I'm THAT house. We're not totally useless! We did take down the Christmas tree and all of the major decorations inside. Doesn't that count? Now ask me if they've been put back up in the attic.... HELL NO. I can't even open my garage in fear that Christmas might escape and start all over again. Baby steps my friends....baby steps.
 I MAY have some holiday themed kitchen towels hanging on the oven door still and quite possibly snowman spoon rests on the stove, oh and a pine tree scented candle or 2. But aren't we still in the acceptable time range for removing Christmas decorations? NO? Oh well. I did my very best.
This is no easy task you know! Putting up the Christmas tree meant moving a couch and a wine rack, and moving a table into the garage. So all of that had to be PUT BACK. Not to mention the front living room was now home to a gigantic cardboard space shuttle and a wall of cardboard "fort building" bricks that the kids got for Christmas.
So all this leads me to yesterday. Yes, yesterday I decided to finally tackle moving all the furniture back into place and putting up some new wall art that I got over the holiday season. Everything started out fine. I dragged the wine rack over... heavy but I survived. The couch came next. I felt like I was trying to move a house because my living room is carpeted.. but that too I survived. Brought the drill and level out, hung my new wall art in the foyer and guest bath. Still going strong...... Then came the antique table from the garage. This frigging table is over a hundred and twenty years old, built of solid tiger oak, and if that's not bad enough it has a huge slab of 1/4 inch thick glass on the top. OH, let me add a disclaimer before I move on. I DID NOT MOVE THE TABLE TO THE GARAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE! (You'll get why I'm saying this in a minute)
Ok, so I go out there and I try to drag it. No good. I can see that I would mess up the legs. Genius idea alert! I saw the kids scooter. I put one side of the table bottom on the scooter and pushed... ITS WORKIIIIING!!! At this point, my heart is pumping I already have a healthy sweat going, but I was ELATED. The frigging scooter idea was GENIUS!! Or so I thought.
I get to the kitchen door, get in front and PULL as hard as I could to clear the little step up to the house...... And then it happens.....It doesn't fit in the door. IT DOESN'T FIT THROUGH THE (bleep) (bleep) (bleeeeeeeeeping) DOOR!! NO!!!! NO! No! NO! nOOOOO NOO! I wiggled it, I pulled, I pushed. Now the F%^&* thing is STUCK! OMG. Did I mention this thing weighs a ton? At THIS point, I'm dripping sweat and my heartbeat is audible to a deaf person. After many many cuss words I manage to get it loose.
I realize that most people at this point would leave the damned table alone and wait for another time (like hubby's day off) but no. Not me. I have issues. Me and this table were at WAR.
I now realize I have 2 options. 1.) Take it out the garage door and around to the front door. 2.) Bring it in the kitchen door standing up.  Option one was immediately discarded. Not only was the table too heavy for me to take it the extra distance, I would have to open the garage door! CHRISTMAS MIGHT ESCAPE! Or even worse, the neighbors will see me make a complete fool out of myself wrestling this table on a pink scooter.  Nope, not happening. Somehow I was going to stand this sucker up. How was I going to do that with the glass on top? AHA! I must remove it! Not so easy to remove a slab of heavy ass glass that's flush with the wood. 3 pinched fingers, one serious scratch, a busted shin, a pulled muscle in my lower back, and about 20 pounds of sweat later, I stood that old bastard up and got it through the door. SUCCESS!
Because of this experience, I now realize that I may have some seriously deep rooted issues that need to be worked out. LOL. I don't even like the damn table! My competitive nature has spilled over to inanimate objects. Shit just got real.
Well, I'm off to ponder my new insight and prepare my self for my 5:30am jog with wind chills in the 30's (uuggghh) I'll let you know how that goes.
Sonya